Fernandi opened his eyes, frantically swiveled his head from side to side, and then puked. After recovering from his hangover, Fernandi crawled to his motorcycle. Gripping the handlebars, Fernandi muttered, “Did I dream all of that yesterday?” Before Fernandi could think any further, Fernandi’s stomach let out a loud rumble. Fernandi shrugged, “Well, I can’t think on an empty stomach.” With that comment, Fernandi jumped on his motorcycle and drove off to locate the nearest gas station to replenish his motorcycle with gas and stomach with beer.

The first gas station Fernandi spotted was shining with unbearable bright lights even though it was only the afternoon. The windows of the store ominously blazed, burning Fernandi’s retinas. Fernandi put on his sunglasses and cautiously drove into the parking lot. Too tired to care, Fernandi shrugged and began to fill his gas tank. Whistling to himself as he filled his gas tank, Fernandi suddenly felt a tap on his shoulders. Fernandi turned around and froze in terror. Of all his years of seeing terrifying things (chicken nugget men, phoenixes, …), Fernandi have never seen anything so hideous. In front of Fernandi, there stood a 15-feet tall Cyclops.

Fernandi whimpered, “ You don’t suppose you have any beer in your shop?” The Cyclops roared and charged at Fernandi. Not having enough time to get on the motorcycle, he rushed into the store. Once he was inside he grabbed the nearest thing to protect himself from the monster. It was a bag of flaming hot Cheetos. The Cyclops rushed in and grabbed Fernandi ready to rip him apart. Fernandi instantly threw the bag of hot chips at the Cyclops in the eye. The bag erupted into flames (it really was flaming hot) causing the Cyclops to go berserks and crashing into the gas tank. It exploded. Fernandi survived, but the Cyclops didn’t. Fernandi celebrated by drinking a whole case of Bud Light (the Budweiser was out). Fernandi fainted.