Once upon a time, Fernandi was a regular bum on the street who happily scrounged for food in the trash bins like any other hobo. However, Fernandi lived a happy life and enjoyed his alcohol and homeless days. He had a motorcycle, wore no clothes (enjoyed the breeze), and had unlimited beer of all sorts in his secret stash. Now, Fernandi had to face the Evil Enchantress of the East with no beer, no motorcycle, a pair of boxers (for the safety of others), and a tiny turtle named Ryan.

Meanwhile... Trish was falling face first into a flaming pit of lava with magically enchanted chains wrapped around her. She couldn’t fly, couldn’t blast her way out, and she certainly, couldn’t believe this was happening to her. Inches away from the hole of hot doom, Robin suddenly snapped into his senses. The fog cleared from his eyes and threw a boomerang as quickly as he could at the chains. However, it rebounded off an invisible wall and smacked right back into his face.

“Uh, uh, uh darlings. No interference boys.” Ariana said with a scary, but irresistible smile. Robin stood still against his will as he watched in agony as Trish fell into the lava. Firestar, Trish, an alien girl that saved their lives was gone forever. Robin fell to his knees in shock; Bill stopped eating delicious butter popcorn as he stared in disbelief; David dropped his donuts into the lava with his mouth wide open.

“Stop gaping like idiots and follow me dears.” Ariana ordered.

With all the steel, dignity, willpower, manliness, and strength Robin could muster, he spit out “No.” Robin then dropped to the ground exhausted. The terrified, but loyal friends nodded as well.

“Nobody disobeys this evil enchantress!” Ariana barked and with a snap, all three men (one was actually a tin monkey) transformed into guinea pigs. Ariana picked up the guinea pig with a red cape and whispered, “Don’t be sad, boy. You’ll be the first in my torture experiments.” Robin tried to bite the witch’s finger unsuccessfully. Then, the enchantress popped the pigs into a cage and walked to her room for a manicure.

Meanwhile... Fernandi and Ryan woke up from a good night’s rest under a creepy tree with no blankets to block the fierce night winds. Since they had no breakfast, they continued on their way to the castle where the Evil Enchantress of the East held their friends.

“So, what’s the plan?” asked Ryan.

“Plan? I was thinking that we could just bust down the doors and break out our friends.” Fernandi replied.

“We’ll be lucky to still be alive by the time we get to the front door.” Ryan snorted. As a result, Ryan forced Fernandi to make a plan and to abandon his impromptu style. First, Fernandi drew a sketch of the witch’s castle.

“You forgot the window on the fifth floor,” Ryan commented.

“It’s a sketch,” Fernandi yelled. “Anyway, I was thinking we could just dig a hole underground to get pass the first wall. Nobody is guarding on that one. The next wall probably has guards so we just beat them up and break down the door and get our friends back.”

“Some plan.” Ryan murmured. With their advanced and complex plan, the couple started digging and digging and digging and digging.

Meanwhile... the guinea pigs (actually Robin, Bill and David) scurried around the cage. Robin tried to smash the glass down by repeatedly ramming into the wall. Bill was running around in circles screeching like a monkey. David was just sadly sitting on his hay and nibbling on it while playing a sad tune on the harmonica.

“Stop the music and shut up Bill!” Robin roared, “Hey, you play the harmonica?”

“No, it’s an automatic harmonica and I can’t turn it off,” David answered.

“What do we do now?” whimpered Bill.

“We have to escape and get revenge!” ordered Robin.

“How do we do that?” David questioned, “It’s impenetrable for a guinea pig.”

“That’s it!” Robin exclaimed

“That’s what?” David asked.

“Impenetrable for a guinea pig, but not impenetrable for a guinea pig with a super laser pointer!” Robin explained. The two friends looked at Robin with confused faces.

“You had this the whole time, but chose to repeatedly run into the wall instead?” Bill squealed.

“I was sad, OK!” Robin cried. Once there was a hole on the glass, the guinea pigs pushed out and scurried away. Once Ariana, now with shinier nails, walked into the room to check her prisoners, she was enraged to find them missing.

She grabbed the telecom and screamed into her speaker, “Whoever finds the guinea pigs will get to eat them and will get a pay raise!” Penguins and gorillas dived to the ground searching for the escapees. Even Alejandri was sniffing around. Ariana then stomped out the room and started a pedicure.

Meanwhile... Fernandi and Ryan were digging the passageway to the castle. Then, out of nowhere, they felt a huge rumble. Assuming that it was a little earthquake, the duo popped out and hid in the bush. Once it stopped, they were about to get back to digging when they were stopped by a big, long, pink worm that flipped out the ground. Fernandi and Ryan froze in terror. Then they ran as fast as they could with a 50-ton worm sliding after them. Then Fernandi remembered something from SpongeBob.

“Hey, hand me a piece of string with a paperclip.” Fernandi shouted while running for his life.

“Who do you think I am? A salesman?” Ryan screamed. The worm was closing in on them. Fernandi quickly pulled the string from his boxers and used it to make a lasso. Now clothless, Fernandi swung his 5-second made boxer string lasso at the nearest tree. Then he swung up at the last second landing spot on the giant pink worm. But that wasn’t all. He then untied his lasso and turned it into reins as looped onto the irritated worm. The worm did not like being controlled. It bucked, kicked, flipped, rolled, slid, jumped, shook, and did whatever it could to get Fernandi and Ryan off his back. Fernandi held on tight to his boxer strings for dear life as he continued on the worm rodeo. Finally, after 10 minutes of struggling the giant worm gave up and followed Fernandi’s steering.

“Wow, I never knew boxer strings were so strong?” Fernandi said.

“Please promise me to put on pants after this,” Ryan said in return as he avoided looking at Fernandi’s lower section. Fernandi promised and they charged towards the tower. Instead of peacefully digging under the wall, they were stopped by a bunch of penguins standing on the wall.

“Hmmm. I wonder what they’re for?” Fernandi asked, “It’s not like they can shoot us or fly at us.” With that reply, the penguins leaped of the building soaring straight at Fernandi and Ryan while holding semi-machine guns.

“You had to say that,” Ryan groaned. The penguins started firing maniacally at the duo. Luckily, the upside of an enormously huge worm was that it was invincible. It jumped and rammed through waddling and flying penguins as the bullets bounce off its tough skin. Fernandi used Ryan as a shield to block the bullets. At first, it seemed like the worm would be able to escape and overcome the abundance of flying, killing, shooting, penguins, but the tables turned when a stray bullet ricocheted off the worm bouncing right pass Ryan and smushing into Fernandi’s unprotected nude body. Fernandi flew off the worm and Ryan going down with him. Barely missing the rampaging worm, they both fell on the ground with painful thud. Fernandi squirmed on the ground feeling excruciating pain as blood gushed out his wound.

“No, Come on Fernandi, hold on buddy,” Ryan stuttered frantically as he dragged Fernandi under the bush away from the sight of the searching penguins.

“Ryan, tell my mom I loved her pancakes,” Fernandi wheezed. Then he fainted into a deep, deep, deep, eternal sleep.

Meanwhile... Alejandri cornered the terrified guinea pigs which were running in circles.

“A nice little snack,” Alejandri hissed. Then he lunged at the doomed friends.

Are Trish and Fernandi really dead? What will happen to the guinea pigs? What will Ryan do?