Fernandi and his posse opened their eyes to find themselves on luxuriously comfy beds surrounded by beautiful ghostly women servants. Bill, Izrael, and David were no longer guinea pigs.

“So, this is what heaven is like,” Fernandi commented as he sat up, “I wonder if they have beer here.”

“For your information, the beer is in the cooler in the kitchen. Also, this is not heaven, but it might as well be,” answered an Asian girl in an elegant dress.

“Who are you?” David asked, “and how did we get here?”

“I am Alypso, Roberto the Wizard of Oz’s wife. You guys were transported here by my husband’s amulet before you were zapped by the Dark Magician. He guessed that you guys would foolishly ignore his warnings and continue your adventure, so he gave you the amulet to avoid you from becoming dust particles.” The group looked sheepishly at their toes.

“On the good note, now you can stay here in my 5-star island paradise hotel for the rest of your lives. Imagine having no more worries, no more monsters, no more fighting to the death, and no more troubles and replace that with relaxing in a jacuzzi and doing nothing all day. All charges are completely paid and unlimited food, refreshments, including beer, and entertainment is completely free,” Alypso said in her fobbish voice and with a shining smile. The friends had a dreamy look on their faces.

Suddenly Fernandi lept to his feet and exclaimed, “I know you’re trying to help us and I’m grateful, but we really need to get going. Trish is dead; Roberto is trapped; we can’t just sit here and do nothing! Thanks but no thanks.” And with that inspirational speech, the rest of the group followed Fernadi out the door. Then, the group simultaneously rushed backed to Alypso and started begging.

“Help us defeat the Dark Magician!” Fernandi wailed.

“I want a back rub!” Bill cried. Everybody looked at him. “What? My back was aching!”

Alypso sighed, “Fine, I’ll help you guys train. Follow me.” Alypso swiftly turned around and marched down the hall as Fernandi and his friends followed. After many twists and turns, Alypso headed into a creepy, dark dead end. Something wailed in the background.

Fernandi gulped nervously, “Nothings’s here. Let’s turn back.” Everyone agreed and turned around.

“Wait,” Alypso commanded. Then, she kicked the wall. It crumbled. Behind the wall was a huge tropical forest with a sweltering sun and abundance of greenery and unknown creatures. Fernandi and his gang gaped at the scenery. “In order to even have a chance to survive in your next encounter with the Dark Magician, you need to enter this cursed terrain and find the Wand of Light located somewhere in there,” Alypso announced vaguely.

“Uhhh, how are we suppose to find it?” Izrael questioned.

“Beats me. That’s your quest. Now get going!” and with a wave of a hand, Fernandi and his troops flew into the dense jungle. After rolling down a steep cliff, falling into quicksand, and being attacked by an army of killer ants, the group trudged themselves into a dark cave for the night.

Fernandi stated, “So, we ditched the peaceful and amazing paradise for a creepy and dangerous tropical forest to find this wand that we don’t have a clue about with no food and provisions and an evil warlock trying to kill us.We’re back to square one. ”

“More like back to negative ten,” Ryan commented. On that depressing note, the group went to sleep. Unfortunately, before they could get a wink, a spine chilling growl emitted throughout the cave. Everyone (besides Ryan, who was already snoring) whipped around and found themselves facing a huge and ferocious growling feline twice the size of a tiger. It bared its sharp dagger-like teeth as it prepared to pounce.

“Run!” Fernandi screamed very girly-like. Everybody did just that. The group dashed out the cave for their lives as the enormous cat leaped after them. After an hour of intense running, Fernandi tripped over a tree root and slid right into a random cactus. Fernandi, now trapped, braced himself to be devoured. Nothing came. He opened his eyes and saw nothing. The big cat was nowhere to be found. Fernandi felt excruciating pain as he tried to dislodge himself from the cactus spikes. Suddenly, the cactus moved and opened its eyes. It was a man-eating cactus plant. Fernandi whimpered.

Meanwhile, Izrael was sprinting into the dark forest, twisting and turning, trying to lose the charging feline behind him, which was catching up quite rapidly. Although Izrael was a very fit person, being chased by a ferocious creature for 2 hours through a bumpy and dark forest can take being fit to another level. Izrael’s legs felt like lead, his lungs were ready to burst, his vision was blurring, his throat was burning, his heart was exploding, and every muscle in his body was screaming in pain. As the cat closed in, Izrael knew it was over and planned his next move. When the cat (if you can call it that) came into range, Izrael, with all his strength, whipped around and karate kicked the monster right into the nose. Izrael screamed in pain as all his toes broke. The cat glared at Izrael and opened its humongous jaw ready to devour Izrael. Izrael cried.

Meanwhile, David was zooming through the forest on his wheelchair frantically throwing bombs behind him, for he was not being chased by the big cat, unfortunately, but by her cubs. The cubs, who did not look innocent or cute at all, were tailing David ready to capture their hunt and devour it. As the chase continued, David’s meter indicated that David’s gas was running out. David cursed and pulled out his walkie-talkie and screamed “Help! Help! SOS! Anybody! Save me! I’m being chased by vicious cubs and running out of gas!” At that moment, David’s gas ran out. David wheeled himself as fast as he could, but didn’t get that far. The cubs immediately surrounded David snarling. David smiled and said, “Do you want some donuts instead? They taste a lot better!” David handed the donuts to them hopefully. The cubs tore it apart and looked at David like he was next (he was). David shrieked as the cubs leapt on him.

Meanwhile, Bill was swinging tree to tree trying to evade the killer bees that he knocked over when running away from the cave screaming maniacally. The killer bees, the size of walnuts, buzzed after the screeching monkey when suddenly, Bill felt an excruciating sting in his tin-foiled rear end. Bill screamed an impossible high note (a G10 to be exact) and squished the stuck bee in fury with his bare hands. Bill looked up and saw that he was surrounded by a huge blob of killer bees. They didn’t look happy. “Oops,” Bill whimpered. The bees attacked all at the same time. Bill screamed again.

Meanwhile, Ryan woke up from his delightful sleep to find the cave empty. “Where is everybody?” Ryan thought out loud.

“Not here,” a familiar voice hissed. Ryan swung around only to be facing a gigantic, gaping mouth. Ryan farted in fear, petrified.

What will happen to Fernandi and his friends? What did Ryan see? Find out soon!