The Origin of Wombat Shakespeare
Mar 25, 2012 | Written by bobawesome
10 years ago, in the continent of Australia, a genetic (and partly mad and evil) scientist was about to make an earth-breaking, life-changing, and mind-blowing discovery. This scientist was named Ryan Reckless. In many failed experiments and attempts, Ryan was finally able to give superpowers to a living organism. While testing and experimenting painful tests on a normal, lazy wombat (he ran out of guinea pigs) for several months, he transformed it into a super animal. Unfortunately, before he could present it to the world, the wombat magically disappeared from his platinum and unbreakable cage. Ryan Reckless searched for this superwombat for 10 years in every nook and cranny of every jungle, forest, desert, or city of Australia and found nothing until…
One sunny day, in the beautiful jungles of Australia, Bob was hiking and reading a book at the same time. The book was Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare. Currently, Bob was addicted to Shakespeare books and couldn't stop his cravings for them. Because of countless days of staying up till midnight reading Shakespeare books, he had read more than half of Shakespeare’s plays (which is a lot)! Now he was reading one of Shakespeare’s most famous plays, Romeo and Juliet. His favorite parts were the poems. He was a poet himself, and he loved Shakespeare’s complicated sonnets. He loved all kinds of poems, including odes, free-verses, elegies, sonnets, ballads, however, his favorite poems were narrative epic poems. He loved the adventure and all of the literary devices such as figurative language and foreshadowing he found in the plays. Then, out of nowhere, a huge, furry mass that moved with blinding speed, pounced onto Bob with such force that Bob rammed into a tree. Then with quick, agile slashes, Bob was almost shredded to pieces by the beast. Bob was so stunned he couldn't even register the excruciating pain and fear. Before he blacked out, Bob saw a huge black jeep on rocket boosters crash into the big beast.
“I must be dreaming,” thought Bob, and then he fainted.
When Bob woke up he found himself strapped into a white and comfy bed. His chest hurt, but amazingly, it didn't have any scars or tears.
“Where art thou?” Bob suddenly blurted.
“Why did I say that? Why am I here? Am I still dreaming?” Bob wondered.
“Ah, the brave guest awakes,” somebody croaked. With surprise, Bob turned around and saw an old man that looked like one of the mad scientists in the horror movies. The old man gave Bob a smile that sent shivers down his spine.
“Who art thou?” Bob squealed.
“I am just a normal scientist,” the old man explained, “You looked confused. I will clear everything up. You see, you were attacked by one of my experiments. It was a super wombat. I genetically created it by redesigning the DNA and other science stuff. As a result, the wombat had 1000% increase in strength and agility, as well as enhanced senses and intelligence. The point however, is that the wombat escaped 10 years ago. I have searched for it ever since. There was no trace of it until today. I saw a glimpse of it behind a tree and shot it because it could be dangerous. This made the wombat go berserk. He ran down multiple trees until he hit you and started ripping you to shreds. Luckily, I ran it down and fixed you all up. That’s it.” Bob stared at the old man speechlessly.
“Oh yeah, I also think that some of his super power saliva dripped into your blood causing you to have super powers. I'll test you and see if I can remove it. I think superpowers will be useful to have during world domination,”the mad scientist cackled.
“What?” Bob choked, straining himself to speak normal English, “You’re kidding right?”
The old man looked at him right in the eye intently and whispered, “Does it look like I am kidding,” and swiftly inserted a chemical into Bob’s arm.
Bob immediately became woozy. “You’ll never get away with this!” Bob screeched. Bob swung around wildly, desperate to escape. Can you see this?
“Shake all you want. You can’t escape my unbreakable elastic restraints. In a few seconds, I will take away your powers,” the old man laughed evilly.
“You’re crazy,” Bob shrieked and spontaneously recited “Roses are red. Violets are blue. I was never here with you.” The world swirled, and he was magically teleported back to the jungle where he got attacked by the wombat. The huge wombat still laid dead on the floor. Then, with another spontaneous event, he started to see the future… and his destiny. Bob fell to the ground in a traumatized state. Too much drama and fear was in his body.
“Get it together,” Bob said to himself, “I just need to save the world, that’s all. I need to get rid of that scientist.” Bob stood up, and started practicing. After a few hours of testing his powers, he found out that he had 3 superpowers (not counting his super brain power). Firstly, he could turn his poems into real life. Secondly, he could summon his wombat friends whenever he sang a poem. Depending on what type of poem, the wombats came in with fury, sadness, happiness, and many other forms. Once, they even came in tutus when he sang a tutu poem. Cheese. His last power was that he could see hints of the past and future. He called this Flashback and Foreshadowing. In order to better understand his enemy, Bob summoned a Flashback to Ryan's past. Images and scenes whizzed past his eyes as he strained to comprehend the endless amounts of information. After 15 seconds, Bob collapsed to the ground gasping from exhaustion. Luckily, he had received vital knowledge about Ryan Reckless. Ryan was no ordinary scientist. A few years back, Ryan was a respected and intelligent man, owning rows of trophies and awards for his scientific discoveries. Then, one day, Ryan decided to create a magical serum that enhanced one's knowledge and strength. Unfortunately, the serum was a failure and scientists scoffed at Ryan. In frustration, Ryan accidentally plunged himself with the serum. The effects were immediate and horrifying. His once strong and sturdy body transformed into a wrinkly and weak one. However, his body wasn’t the only thing affected by the serum. Ryan’s mind became twisted and evil. He started conducting cruel experiments on innocent animals and other atrocious deeds. Ryan was kicked out of the Australian Science Committee for his actions. In response, Ryan unleashed a superwombat to take over the world which soon mysteriously disappeared and led to this.
However, his peace and training didn't last. The evil scientist stormed through the jungle with a huge monster truck smashing down the trees like toothpicks.
“Stop, you’re destroying the jungle!” Bob yelled.
“Do I look like I care?” the evil scientist chuckled.
“Beware of my wrath of poetry!” Bob screamed and unleashed a verse of poetry.
“You will never defeat me,” the evil scientist roared and fired a wave of rockets. The evil scientist was armed with bazookas, robots, and big automatic machine guns, but Bob was armed with ninja wombats and endless and deadly poetry. Finally, with an earth-shaking Shakespearean poem, the evil scientist’s monster truck exploded.
“I am not finished yet!” Ryan (the scientist) croaked and threw a grenade at Bob. Instead of a big explosion Bob expected, a pink mist blew out. Bob felt no pain or any difference at all. When Bob tried to say a smart comment, nothing came out.
“Powerless without your voice, huh?” the scientist sneered, “Where are your wombat friends now?” Unfortunately, the evil scientist was correct; there was no wombat in sight.
“I think I still can get your powers even when you’re dead,” and he put up a gun. Bob stood there paralyzed (both because of the pink mist and fear).
“I guess this is the end,” Bob thought. Then suddenly, a fat wombat popped out of the ground and wrestled the scientist to the ground.
Ryan pushed the fat wombat off and yelled, “You dirty fat rat!” This really made the wombat mad. With a loud screech, thousands of wombats carried the evil scientist to the Inescapable Australian Prison. Ryan fought back but it was useless, the fight was over. As the drug wore off, Bob used his Foreshadowing power. He knew the world was safe…for now. Wombat Shakespeare’s poetic journey has just begun.